I had a fabulous dream last night. In fact, I think I need never look for a girlfriend or boyfriend ever again. This dream girl was it. Sheapos;s the one Iapos;m supposed to meet and now I know sheapos;s out there somewhere. If sheapos;s not, can we just maybe put me to sleep so I can visit her every night? She was fantastic That would be amazing
And now Iapos;m awake. Ah well.
I took a couple of days to myself this week. I really wanted to shut down the lines of communication and just sort of re-center myself. Itapos;s so easy to get caught up in whatapos;s going on around you to the point that all you can do is react. I need to get back into just ACTING on my own without the outside influences. It sounds simple enough but it can be a handful...particularly when you know so many people. Itapos;s so easy to get caught and pulled in various different directions. So I put on the brakes...
SCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE
Why is it so easy for people to make you unhappy? I think about this and see the fatal flaw. People canapos;t -make- you anything. Itapos;s whatever you allow yourself to be. Ahah Suddenly I feel truly inspired. Iapos;m enlightened. You can see the beams and rays flying off of me...only...Well not really. Iapos;ve known this all along but it doesnapos;t make it easier. When you love, you risk getting hurt. When you have friends, you run the risk of having them love you...or hate you...or desire your attention. Itapos;s fine, really. Itapos;s just all at once. But what do I want anyway? Miss Heidi What do you -really- want?
Iapos;m a little lost again. What happened to my roadmap?
Iapos;ll tell you what I did. I read a little. I watched a lot of crime shows. You know, all of those innitials. NCIS...CSI.... That goth chick is smokin Actually a lot of those chicks were. Iapos;ve got this thing for House and for Cutty...or Kutty or...whatever the hell her name is Anyway, I became a complete potato and loved it. I spent some time staring into the ocean and driving about with very little volume on my music. Itapos;s been amazing.
Remind me to do more of that. I donapos;t have any answers just yet but I feel I can breath a little again and THAT is a good start.
So about this dream girl...*siiiiighs* Come back
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